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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26454856">masquerade</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/strwberryys/pseuds/strwberryys'>strwberryys</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abuse, Emotional Roller Coaster, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Mentions of Suicide, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicide, domestic abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:00:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,955</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26454856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/strwberryys/pseuds/strwberryys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>there's a lot more to beomgyu's suicide than taehyun thinks.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>masquerade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I like you."</p><p>A swift breeze sweeps their hair back, scent of the night air surrounding their nostrils. It's gentle and quiet, which in fact isn't helping the harsh pounding of Beomgyu's heart. Regret is creeping in on him and suddenly he wishes to take back what he'd said. Perhaps he can. With a quick "I'm joking", a light, playful smack to the arm, he could pretend he hadn't meant it. Only, he does mean it.</p><p>After what seemed like a long momentary silence, Taehyun speaks.</p><p>"Do you?" he's practically whispering, "As in, <em>like</em> like me?"</p><p>Beomgyu swallows, humming in response. Their hands interlocked, Taehyun boldly inches closer.</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>Beomgyu's insides flare and flip around wildly. He can hardly bring himself to face the younger. It's always been scary - confessing - no matter how many times he's done it. He's had his fair share of acceptance, as well as rejections. It's the toughest step to get through.</p><p>"You do?" he clears his throat, orbs glued to the starry sky above them. "So," another clear of the throat has a skeptical Taehyun steadily turning to face him, "will you be my boyfriend?"</p><p>Taehyun looks taken aback, brows slightly furrowed and lips jutted forward.</p><p>"I've.. liked you for a long time now." he continues offhandedly.</p><p>"I'm.. Gyu I'm sorry, but, shouldn't we wait?"</p><p>"Wait until what? We've known each other for a while."</p><p>"I know, but," Taehyun looks to the side, cheeks flushing a soft red, "I'm scared."</p><p>Beomgyu nods a single nod, teeth sinking into his lower lip mindlessly. He's already got an idea of what might be on Taehyun's mind, what he's fearing of and why. Still, giving him an extra push might cause him to see right through the conflict.</p><p>"We can keep it a secret, if that's what you want."</p><p>Taehyun's quiet for a moment, pondering.</p><p>".. But what if he finds out?"</p><p>His father, with a mind full of false impression and education, has his 'do's and 'don't's in their household. He makes the rules, no buts about it. Taehyun only pretends to follow, and to his luck, the elder man hasn't caught him in the act of committing "sins".</p><p>Beomgyu gives his hand a reassuring squeeze. Taehyun finally meets his gaze.</p><p>"Let's keep it a secret."</p><p> </p><p>There's a faint knock on his window. At first, it only blends in with the sound of heavy rain as Taehyun's slowly drifting into slumber. Then it comes multiple times, the audibly soft clinks drawing Taehyun back into reality. Momentarily, he shifts to sit up and kick the comforters off, blankly staring at the window before approaching it.</p><p>He peers through the glass first, cautiously, attempting to make out the dark figure standing outside. Then, like the snap of a finger, recalls his and Beomgyu's plan. It only takes a few twists and clicks before the boy slides the window open, peering his head out.</p><p>"Gyu?" he tries to be as quiet as possible. The shadowy figure nods eagerly, waving a hand around. "The tree," he says, pointing, "climb the tree."</p><p>Taehyun thanks the Gods above for Beomgyu's tree climbing skills. He's in front of his window in no time, that cute and eager grin on his face as he clutches onto a sturdy branch. Taehyun lets out an airy snicker through his nose.</p><p>"You're late."</p><p>Beomgyu chuckles. "Sorry."</p><p>Taehyun hums, like he were contemplating his forgiveness, then moves forward to plant a gentle, chaste kiss to his boyfriend's lips.</p><p>"What happened here?" he pouts, caressing Beomgyu's bruised cheek. That sweet face of his is practically damaged, wet and littered with scratches and scars. Beomgyu only seems to shrug it off.</p><p>"Parents." he responds. Taehyun frowns, taking one of Beomgyu's hands to help him in. He hesitates at first, but the younger assures him that his father is sound asleep.</p><p>"Look at you," Taehyun removes his coat once he's inside, shutting the window behind them, "you're soaked. You could've caught a cold or something."</p><p>"I'm fine." Beomgyu waves a hand of dismissal, snaking his arms around his little boyfriend's waist, "You're worth seeing."</p><p>The action makes Taehyun's heart flutter. He still has to get used to that, get used to <em>this</em>. Their relationship is still fresh, not to mention Taehyun's lack of experience when it comes to dating, or kissing, even. He's gotten better, learned a lot from Beomgyu in the course of two weeks. <em>Has it really been two weeks</em>?</p><p>Beomgyu's a sucker for kissing. It's a fact even Beomgyu's admitted himself. He finds himself addicted every time their lips touch, never being the one to break it when they need a moment to breathe. He's fascinated with Taehyun's plush lips, apologizes when they cease, claiming that he simply can't get enough of them.</p><p>Taehyun's staring wearily at the scars, jutting his lip forward once more.</p><p>"Are you hurt?" he whispers. He swoops a strand of stringy wet hair out of the older's face. Beomgyu shrugs, placing Taehyun's hands over his shoulders.</p><p>"It isn't bad."</p><p>Although it's a little hard to believe him, Taehyun's face relaxes at those words. Beomgyu always claimed he was okay, even when Taehyun could tell that he most definitely wasn't. This is his normal, though - getting an old fashioned beating from his parents.</p><p>His thoughts are shadowed over when he catches Beomgyu leaning in, pressing soft lips against his own. Taehyun releases a low hum, fisting fingers into the other's shirt. The action makes the younger realize how badly he's been craving for this. For <em>him</em>. They hadn't seen each other yesterday, neither today. The more they sit in each other's presence, the more Taehyun is drawn toward Beomgyu. He trusts him more than anybody else.</p><p>After a day of insults, or any damage mentally or physically done by the cruelty they call family, this is their comfort, their remedy. It's a shame they only started dating so recently, when their relationship had obviously been something more than a 'close friendship' in the first place.</p><p>Their lips move in practical sync, and Taehyun feels Beomgyu pulling him in closer, their chests touching.</p><p>"I missed you," he says, lips still attached, and Taehyun could never deny how hot he thinks that is. His knees are giving out, but he's given a quick solution when the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, the pair descending clumsily to the mattress. Now his head is caged in between Beomgyu's elbows, the older chuckling quietly before diving right back in. He's taking the lead like he always does, always so eager.</p><p>When the moment feels right, Beomgyu parts his mouth ever so slightly to lick at the other’s lips, silently asking for entrance, and Taehyun never hesitates to invite him into the warmth of his mouth. He hums with pleasure, reaching to pet the hair at the nape of Beomgyu's neck. When he makes another sound, the older decides to part.</p><p>"Is this okay?" he asks, voice kept cautiously low. Taehyun's breathless, nodding once, and that's all Beomgyu needs before moving back in again.</p><p>It would never occur in the middle of the night, but even so, Taehyun still feels anxious, gets a feeling that his dad might walk in at any moment. Might somehow hear them. So eventually, when a while seems to go by, Taehyun nudges the older until he seems to take the hint, a string of saliva following his lips as they part.</p><p>"Good?" Beomgyu asks. Taehyun nods, shifting to sit up comfortably. He pats the spot on the bed beside him, and Beomgyu follows the unsaid command, the old mattress faintly squealing beneath his weight. Folding his hands in his lap and chuckling quietly to himself, Taehyun can easily see right through him; something is wrong.</p><p>"They.. haven't found out, have they?"</p><p>Beomgyu is quick to shake his head, facing the other, expression solemn.</p><p>"They didn't. But.. Let's just say I probably won't have a roof over my head tonight."</p><p>Those words spark an unnatural sensation, his heart thrumming with fear and, well, <em>anger</em>.</p><p>"They kicked you out?"</p><p>"Sort of. Yeah, basically." Beomgyu nods.</p><p>Beomgyu's parents are very, <em>very</em> austere. Taehyun's met them countless times before. They aren't very pleasant, always wearing a certain snarl on their faces when they see him. Constantly forcing their opinions or their religious beliefs down his throat. Every time Beomgyu invites him over, they barely greet him when stepping foot into the house. Regardless, Taehyun brushes it off. He could care less, quite clearly.</p><p>"Beomie," he pouts, "stay here, then."</p><p>"I.. I can't do that. Your dad's a lot like my parents."</p><p>"Then where are you gonna go? Tell me, where on earth would you go, Gyu?"</p><p>"It's not a big deal, Tae."</p><p>"It <em>is</em>. Please, just for tonight? I can lock the door." he places a hand against the other's thigh, eyes big and doe-like, "I won't be able to sleep knowing you're out there alone. <em>Please</em>."</p><p>Beomgyu eventually agrees with a small "If you insist", cuddling the younger beneath the thick, dark blue comforter. The patter of rain against the window doesn't invade the comfortable silence; it gives the moment a rather reminiscent feel. Like they've done this before, yet won't be able to experience it again.</p><p>Beomgyu spoons the smaller male, arms and legs draped over his little body. He whispers a bunch of sweet nothings into his ear, occasionally pecking the delicate skin of his neck. They hold a few conversations, voices dripping with drowsiness until they finally give in, falling into a deep slumber.</p><p> </p><p>It's the clear of a throat that causes Beomgyu's eyes to fly open, rising to shake Taehyun awake, eyes glued to the figure standing in front of them.</p><p>"Taehyun," he hardly whispers. Taehyun glares when he rouses, but his expression shifts the moment he's facing his father, sitting up as quickly as Beomgyu had.</p><p>So he forgot to lock the door last night. Terrific.</p><p>"Who is he?" his father spits, a nasty scowl on his face.</p><p>"This is my friend Beomgyu. Remember I kept telling you about him?"</p><p>"Friend?" he quirks a brow skeptically, "Why are you sharing a bed?"</p><p>Taehyun tries to fight back the creeping embarrassment.</p><p>"His parents kicked him out last night, and he had no place to stay."</p><p>Beomgyu shies away from the man's intense stare. Momentarily, he continues to watch the two of them, the suspense never leaving his expression as he repetitively taps a foot. With a low and quiet "We'll talk later", he exits the room at last, shutting the door behind him.</p><p>"He's a prick. 'M sorry." Taehyun speaks after a moment of silence.</p><p>Beomgyu nods. "I get it." he's cautious as he drapes his arms around Taehyun's waist, leaning in to peck his cheek. "Just like mine. Good to know we go through something similar."</p><p>Taehyun hums with agreement. The man hadn't even greeted Beomgyu. Only offered him a cold glance or two, that was all. Quite ludicrous how both turned out to be the exact opposite of their parents.</p><p> </p><p>"Will you really be okay?"</p><p>Taehyun kind of wants to cry right now. If Beomgyu apparently wasn't allowed back home last night, who knows what his parents will have to say to him today. What they'll do to him.</p><p>Beomgyu twitches a small smile, orbs drawn thoughtfully to the ground.</p><p>"Don't worry. I'll be fine."</p><p>He worries, though. Heck, he's worrying right now. Gnawing at his lower lip, he studies Beomgyu's bruised face carefully. He hates it when he looks so beaten up, but he could look so much worse later. He might. Taehyun's sure of it.</p><p>He reaches for his arms and pulls him into a hug, lips jutted forward.</p><p>"Please be fine, Gyu."</p><p>He feels Beomgyu's chest convulse with laughter.</p><p>"Relax." He brings a hand to his head, stroking the red strands. "I've been through this so many times before, Tae. How bad could it get?"</p><p>"Bad." Taehyun mutters. He buries his face into his shoulder when he realizes his eyes are glossing over with fresh tears. "I don't like them."</p><p>Another light laugh. "That makes two of us."</p><p>He wants to be on whatever positive side his boyfriend is on, but he just can't. How could he? Beomgyu should be the anxious one here, not him.</p><p>The sound of a vehicle is approaching and Taehyun can already sense that it's the bus. He grumbles, arms tightening around the older's waist. In times like these, Taehyun wishes he and Beomgyu were older. They could do practically anything they wanted if that were the case. They could be free, could live without being controlled.</p><p>When he audibly sniffles, Beomgyu lifts his chin, cooing at the gentle pink of his nose, and the single tear that's drying on his cheek.</p><p>"Taehyun," he slightly tilts his head to the side. The younger's lips tremble as he snatches out of his grasp. He can't even bare to look at him anymore. It hurts too much. "Don't be like that. I'll be okay, alright?"</p><p>"I just.." he doesn't bother finishing. He wasn't really going anywhere with that, anyway. Instead, he plants a kiss against those plush, dry lips, quick and simple. Beomgyu moves in to nuzzle their noses, a soft smile playing on his mouth. He's so calm and collected. Too calm and collected. It's starting to concern Taehyun more than anything.</p><p>The bus comes to a halt in front of them and the thin, double doors fly open. Beomgyu lets him go to inspect his coat pockets until he yanks out a card.</p><p>"Gyu," the red head pulls the older in closer once more, never breaking the gaze, "please promise me."</p><p>"Promise what?"</p><p>Taehyun swallows, "Call me. Text me. <em>Anything</em>. Contact me as soon as you get back home. Promise me you will."</p><p>Beomgyu nods repetitively, slowly approaching the bus.</p><p>"I promise. Okay?"</p><p>Parting was always difficult. Even when they weren't in a relationship, separating felt challenging sometimes, and even more in particular situations like this. Taehyun's hardly ever worried about what he'd come home to, considering how careless his father seemed. Beomgyu, on the other hand, often returns home to uncertainty. His parents never liked Taehyun for some reason, if they have a reason to begin with. And now, Taehyun's convinced that they're beginning to fit the puzzle pieces in place. They're catching on (possibly) and honestly he's rather puzzled at the notion. He thought that he and Beomgyu were doing a great job hiding it.</p><p>His father definitely has an idea of what the pair actually are behind closed doors. As he proceeds to cross the street toward his neighborhood, he attempts to think of a way to convince him otherwise.</p><p>He fiddles the key around until he's finally stepping foot into his house, orbs cautiously scanning the large room. If anything, Taehyun's father appreciates the couch more than anything else in the house. He seems to enjoy the piece of furniture more than his own bed. So there he is, slouched against the couch as he browses through channels, not even glancing his son's way.</p><p>"Taehyun?"</p><p>He cringes as he stops right at the stairs. He'd almost made it.</p><p>"C'mere a second. I think we should talk."</p><p><em>I don't think we should</em>, is what Taehyun wants to say, however remains quiet and obeys. He stands at his father's side. He could hardly bring himself to look the man in the eye - not that he was facing Taehyun in the first place.</p><p>He's silent for a moment, completely focused on the television.</p><p>"So, who was he?"</p><p><em>Fuck</em>. The atmosphere is suddenly very uncomfortable. Taehyun shifts around a bit.</p><p>"My friend, dad. I thought I told you."</p><p>"You haven't told me <em>much</em>. Where'd you meet him? School? The library?"</p><p>Taehyun badly wants to walk away.</p><p>"Why does it matter? We're close friends."</p><p>Now his father's looking up at him, a suspenseful glint in his eyes. Taehyun mentally curses at himself.</p><p>"Why so defensive? I haven't accused you of anything."</p><p>"You didn't even greet him. Also, you asked why we were sharing a bed. <em>Seriously</em>?"</p><p>"Doesn't matter how close you kids are. You shouldn't be sharing a bed, not only because the both of you are boys, but also because you're a minor. Understand?"</p><p>The red head rolls his eyes, reminding himself to bite his tongue.</p><p>"Do you?"</p><p>"I don't, but whatever." Taehyun mutters. Out of irritation, the man sighs aloud, pinching the bridge of his nose. Before Taehyun could turn on his heel to leave, the elder stands in front of him, and a mere second later his fist collides with his face. He's hit square in the jaw, tumbling down to the hardwood floor with a screech.</p><p>"So what is it that you aren't understanding? <em>Huh</em>?!" his voice is dripping with fury. <em>That's new</em>.</p><p>Taehyun's involuntarily shaking, sliding back until he's attempting to shrink away against the wall.</p><p>"Are you stupid?! Do I need to repeat myself?!"</p><p>"Leave me alone!"</p><p>And at this point, he's asking for it. He simply can't hold himself back. His head snaps to the side, slamming against the surface with a loud thud after that powerful hand strikes him in the face again. Then he's hit again, battered repetitively while his defensive hands hang in the air.</p><p>"Stop! <em>Dad</em>! <em>Stop it</em>!" he cries out. Those desperate wails only fall on deaf ears.</p><p>"Cut the attitude!" he tugs onto his red locks to force his head up. "I'm your fucking father! I'm not gonna keep letting you disrespect me in my own house! Are we clear?!"</p><p>He doesn't answer at first, then is practically screaming <em>yes</em> when the elder's grip becomes tighter. Then, he's released.</p><p>Momentarily, he sits still, face buried between his knees. He listens cautiously to the noises around him, socked feet scraping lazily against the floor until the couch faintly squeals under his father's weight.</p><p>That was.. <em>horrifically new</em>. Where'd that abrupt energy come from?</p><p>Taehyun finds himself thinking back to a time this hadn't occurred yet - two minutes ago - and wonders what exactly caused him to lose all rationality like that? Could he actually be catching on?</p><p>The boy gets up after another few minutes, completely shaken up, and practically sprints up the stairs to his room, locking the door behind him.</p><p>Sliding against the door, Taehyun curls himself up on the floor. It hurts. Everything hurts. That man has never laid a finger on him before in his life. A flare had kicked in on the side of his lower lip, warm and most definitely oozing blood. The evidence is drawn on an index finger, and taking a single look at it causes the boy to grimace, wiping it clean with his shirt.</p><p>So, this is what life's like in Beomgyu's shoes? Taehyun's definitely got a reason to fear for his boyfriend's safety - heck, for his life, even. He's encountered light hits here and there, maybe a little slap too, but never a full on beating like <em>that</em>. That might not even be considered a "full on" beating. With the way Beomgyu appears sometimes, the older's possibly receiving something far more traumatic. The thought is absolutely horrendous.</p><p>Speaking of Beomgyu. Taehyun pats at his pants, panicking when he realizes his phone isn't on him. It must have slipped out of his pocket during the incident.</p><p>He won't lie, Beomgyu's worth more than anything in this world to him, but the boy's scared out of his mind right now. He can't find the courage to go back downstairs - not with what just occurred moments ago.</p><p>Taehyun contemplates, rapidly tapping a foot as if it would somehow ease the anxiety. In most cases, the man wouldn't bother speaking if Taehyun came near him while he's angry.</p><p>What if Beomgyu calls? Worse than that, what if his father is the one to see it, answer it, even?</p><p>The red head gives himself a minute to calm his nerves down, then slowly gets up and twists the knob, peering through the crack before choosing to step out of the room.</p><p>He crouches beside the stairs to listen carefully. The muffled chatter on the television is the only sound Taehyun hears, taking that as his cue to start moving. He takes his first step, cringing at the faint squeal beneath his weight. He pushes himself to keep going, grimacing at each noisy step. As he gets closer, he spots his phone, peering from the corner of the wall. Like he was expecting, his father kept his eyes glued to the large screen in front of him, fingers curled around the remote.</p><p>Taehyun flickered his eyes back down to his main focus, grasping for it after reaching the second to last step.</p><p>He promptly shut the door behind him after rushing back into the room, twisting the lock again.</p><p>There's a message from Beomgyu.</p><p>[2:12 PM] gyu ❤️: <em>I'm home</em></p><p>Taehyun sighs with relief, falling onto the bed behind him as he types in a reply.</p><p>[2:15 PM] taehyun: <em>can I please call you??</em></p><p>[2:15 PM] gyu ❤️: <em>of course</em></p><p>A wave of emotions soar through his mind, and suddenly he has a lump in his throat. Taehyun's never felt so stuck and afraid. He's sick to his stomach at the thought of staying another night in the dump he calls home. He feels completely helpless, wants his boyfriend by his side.</p><p>Beomgyu answers immediately after the first ring, and the sound of his voice absolutely breaks Taehyun. He desperately <em>needs</em> Beomgyu by his side. Right now.</p><p>"Beomgyu," his voice trembles, hardly aware of the tears brimming at the corners of his eyes.</p><p>"<em>Are you alright</em>?" Beomgyu asks. The concern in his tone doesn't make anything better, an audible whine of distress leaving the younger's throat. "<em>Taehyunnie, are you crying</em>?"</p><p>"I'm scared."</p><p>"<em>Taehyun, I'm okay. My parents didn't even confront me when I came in</em>—"</p><p>"No, no, I don't wanna be <em>here</em> anymore. I can't."</p><p>He can hear Beomgyu shifting around, probably sitting up in his bed.</p><p>"<em>Did.. Did your dad do something</em>?"</p><p>He sniffles and nods as if the other could physically see him.</p><p>"He hit me. Like, a lot."</p><p>Beomgyu apologizes, sighing over the line. Taehyun probably sounds like an idiot, all vulnerable and frightened. He can't help it, though.</p><p>"Beomgyu, I wanna run away. Please, let's run away together. We could go anywhere, just—"</p><p>"<em>Taehyun, wait. Wait a minute, you need to think</em>."</p><p>"No, please. I can't stay in here like this—"</p><p>"<em>Relax a minute baby. Breathe.</em>"</p><p>He'd actually listen if he weren't feeling this hopeless.</p><p>"Beomgyu I <em>can't</em>."</p><p>"<em>You </em>can<em>. Trust me</em>."</p><p>Releasing an agitated sigh, he chooses to do what he's told, closing his eyes as he allows his chest to slowly rise and fall.</p><p>"<em>You calm</em>?"</p><p>Taehyun hums quietly. Beomgyu then explains that if they were to choose to run away, they wouldn't have anywhere to go. He's correct; Neither of them have money, cars, or any other family members that would allow them to live with them. He understands what Taehyun's feeling at the moment — of course he does. Regardless, the only thing they can do now is face what goes on around them until someday granted the freedom they seek for.</p><p>The thought of how far that seems frustrates Taehyun so much.</p><p>"<em>We're going to be okay. Right</em>?"</p><p>He doesn't respond at first, shaking his head. If only he'd forced Beomgyu to spend another night here. Have his arms around him once more, planting kisses to his flushed face as he wipes away his tears.</p><p>With the door locked, this time.</p><p>When the older repeats the question, Taehyun finally answers with a soft (in better terms, weak),</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey there! if you’ve reached the end, thank you so much for reading!<br/>I hope you like emotional roller coasters, because that’s exactly what this is. I wrote this back in May of this year but never published it, so I decided now’d be a great time to do so. I hope y’all enjoy :) stay tuned for more!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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